As the editor of MakeUseOf.com, a big popular tech blog, I get approached every day from people wanting to work for us. These approaches either come in the form of an email, a Facebook message, a Skype message or a Twitter private message. But the majority of them are rejected for one reason or another, mainly because they don’t follow correct procedures, which irritates the hell out of me.

I am probably going to regret this because it will mean everyone will finally be doing it right so I will have more prospective applications to deal with, but here’s the RIGHT way to get the attention of a busy blog editor like myself. I say “I” throughout, but I am sure you can apply these situations to ANY busy blog editor.

1. Don’t flood my email inbox with repeated queries

The people on my permanent black list are those who email every couple of days. They start off politely enough, asking for a job. Then a couple of days later, they email again, asking “did you get my previous email? If not, here it is again”. The next one is a little more tense with “I’m sure you’ve been trying to get a hold of me. When can we arrange to talk?”.

Then after that, the indignation level rises steadily with capped emails exclaiming “WHY ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING ME?” and “DO YOU REALISE WHAT A HUGE MISTAKE YOU’RE MAKING NOT HIRING ME?”. That’s where it ends with me sending them straight to trash – permanently. They’re probably still there right now shouting “I’M STILL HERE!”

Solution : I have hundreds of other emails as well as a blog to run. So send me one email and if I am interested in you, I’ll soon be in touch with you. If you don’t hear from me after a month, then you can safely assume we are not interested in you.

2. Claiming extensive experience without proof to back it up (or claiming ridiculous job titles)

This is where I get the best laughs. People who proclaim themselves to be an “Intergalactic Software Specialist” (one guy actually called himself that) or “Senior Writing Director”. You should never give yourself a ridiculous job title as that only serves to destroy what reputation you actually have.

You should also never make grand claims at experience unless you can back it up. One guy claimed to work for the Washington Post so, interested, I asked to see the clips. He said “uh, the Post archives are down at the moment, sorry”. One quick check to the Post website showed that they were working perfectly fine and what’s more, there was no trace of him anywhere.

And you should never claim to have worked for any large international publication if your English is as bad as a dyslexic redneck.

Solution : Just be yourself and stop with all the fantastical stories. Trust me, I’ve heard them all.

3. Not showing any previous work at all (or refusing to write a test article)

Next up on “you’re on a one-way trip to the bin” are the people who ask for a job, claim they have “lots of experience” but can’t show any of it. Excuses this time range from “Wordpress deleted my blog” to “my gran is reading them at the moment”. OK, so I say they should write a quick test article. But when they find out it’s no obligation on my part to accept it and there’s no payment involved, they are suddenly not very interested.

As a last resort, when asked if they have any online social media presence, they say “social what?”. BEEEP! Thank you for playing and good night.

Solution : Get on the social media sites and start using them seriously. Start your own blog and update it regularly. Get all your previous work together into an online portfolio and make sure it’s available 24/7.

4. Using ridiculous pseudonyms

If you are going to use an alias as your writing identity, that’s one thing. But giving yourself a stupid name (which is so obviously false) is quite another. One guy called himself “Del Trotter” (after the British BBC series “Only Fools & Horses”) and another called himself “The Dark Knight” (after the Batman movie of the same name).

How can you honestly expect anyone to take you seriously when you are using names like that? You probably think that “the Dark Knight” makes you sound mysterious, someone I am dying to get to know. I think that calling yourself something like that means you’re a pimply anti-social 20 year old that still lives with your parents in the basement.

Solution : Use your real name, or if you MUST use an alias, use a professional one.

5. Sending an email that looks like your pet pig has been breakdancing all over it

When you are applying for a job in the offline world, you would write a nice letter, typed on nice paper, and put in a nice envelope. In other words, you would make a big effort to create a good impression. However, when people go online, their ideas about presentation go right out the window. People applying for a job seem to think that “yo, wanna work for you bro. Lemme know” is an adequate way to ask for a job. No work clips, no references and shockingly bad English. Oh my, let me sign you up right away my good sir!

Solution : Write a proper email with grammar, proper spelling, proper formatting….I know, a lot of unpaid work. But think of the potential benefits. That’s right – a job that pays real money!

If you do the above, you are well on your way to avoiding the “nutter” folder and possible eternal damnation in the “trash” folder. Good luck!

*****

Mark O’Neill is a freelance writer of 20 years experience, and also the managing editor of MakeUseOf.com, since August 2007. You can see his personal website at markoneill.org Mark has 21 post(s) at Free Writing Center