For three years, I earned my living as an English teacher, teaching English as a second language to Germans. A lot of my clients were corporate guys, wanting to learn English for their next trade negotiation with investors.

One even told me that she wanted to learn English because she was determined to topple her rival in the company, the boss’s assistant, whose English was terrible. So I may have been responsible for a mini coup d’etat in Germany!

Some of my clients though were children and they were a challenge all by themselves. As I discovered, children thought and felt differently than my adult clients. They weren’t concerned at all about boardroom coups or the upcoming speech that they would have to give in English to a group of Japanese businessmen.

Children just thought about how much they hated their parents for hiring an English teacher for extra-curricular lessons, and how could they get out of this hellhole as soon as humanely possible so they could get back to their computers or games consoles.

Therefore it wasn’t easy but the money was good, so I persevered. And throughout, I developed some ways to get them to engage. If you are teaching students English as a second language, in the interests of saving you from a heart attack, I am going to share my hard fought for tips.

1. Remember how they learnt their native tongue – Probably one of the reasons kids hate their language teachers so much is because those teachers forget (or don’t know) the right way to teach. They seem to think that by turning to page 15 of the book and doing exercise one, that the student will soak up everything, understand everything and suddenly become fluent. It doesn’t work that way.

How did we learn our native tongue as babies? We listened to other people, we watched them do things as they talked, we remembered, we copied them and finally we started to learn to associate words to actions. That is how you learn a foreign language. The same principles apply, whether you are 2 months old, 2 years old or 22 years old.

2. Apply language principles to things they can relate to – The best way to encourage them to speak English is to show them the benefits of it. They won’t respond if you say “when you go on holiday, you can order a taxi!”. That is a far off, remote event for them that may never happen.

But if you pull out an instruction manual for the latest X Box game and say “learn English and you can improve on your X Box games”, that is something more immediate for them, something real they can latch onto and appreciate. Suddenly, learning English will give them benefits over their other console playing friends and you can play on that rivalry when their spirits are flagging a bit.

3. Start with something easy – Don’t immediately launch into textbooks. That will remind them of school and they will immediately switch off. Instead, start with something easy or different to get their motivation and curiosity levels up. With very small children, start with a basic English song. Or teach them the alphabet on flash cards.

With older children, play a song currently in the charts, or play a movie trailer (remember to choose one appropriate for their age though. One 15 year old client of mine begged me for 2 months to show him Kill Bill because his parents wouldn’t allow it). Then get them to tell you what it was about. Ask them questions and push for substantive answers.

4. Don’t make them think that you are reporting back to their parents – OK, the parents are paying the bills and when they ask for a progress report, you can say something in general terms. But don’t make the kid feel that every little failure and transgression will be reported back. That will make them either afraid, nervous or inclined to plot your downfall. These are children remember.

Plotting dirty tricks is their forte and you don’t want to lose your job when a child falsely tells their father that the English teacher made disparaging remarks about his weight (which one of my child clients did). A lot of children are emotionally insecure and don’t do well in class and they need some reassurance and support to help them boost their confidence. Gain that confidence by not telling their mother and father every little problem and failure in minute detail. Show them you’re on their side and they will appreciate it.

5. Find out what they are really stuck with – Since children can be emotionally insecure in class, they may not find it easy to approach their normal teacher for fear of many things. So if they are having trouble with their language studies, they may not open up and reveal what exactly they need help with.

To do your job properly, you need to discover those weaknesses and help them improve. That way they improve in class, their stock rises with the teacher, they get better report cards, and they will LOVE YOU for making their life easier. So just ask them gently what they need help with.

Maybe it’s an old exam paper they have to do in preparation for their real exams, maybe they are stuck on some verb tenses or maybe they don’t understand what a word means. Find out what your child client needs help with, help them improve and your stock will rise considerably.

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Mark O’Neill is a freelance writer of 20 years experience, and also the managing editor of MakeUseOf.com, since August 2007. You can see his personal website at markoneill.org Mark has 21 post(s) at Free Writing Center